Lots on my mind; time to get it out...

This is a small piece of myself that I'm now willing to share. Handle with care; contents will break under pressure.

25 August 2010

15. The "L" Word.

I have come to a crossroad.  To love or not to love, that is the question.  Well it was the question.  The answer is clearly - "Not."   I have officially quit lusting after love.  I mean, yeah, it's a nice idea and all, but really what's it good for?  You slowly give away pieces of yourself until you're so caught up in we that you are no longer a me.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

The real reason I'm through with the contemplation of this dirty four letter word is that I realize it brings more pain than anything.  I've seen love rear it's ugly head, and that's just not a monster I'm prepared to tackle right now.  Love ruins lives.  You put so much stock into another person, hoping they don't disappoint you.  If you're lucky they won't; if you're luck you also win the lottery.  And the ability of people to just fall in and out of it at a moment's notice is beyond me. The ability to forsake all rational thought for what - a feeling that may or may not last through the end of the week? 

And so gone are the days that I long for a significant other.  I mean sure it'd be nice, but at this point in my life its like chasing a pipe dream.  Guys don't know the meaning of commitment anymore - and yes that is a glaring generality, but it's all I have to go on at this point.

Maybe I'm bitter.  Maybe I'm jealous.  Deep down all these things are quite possible.  But on the surface, I'd just like to go with the fact that love in reality seems to lead to nothing but disappointment.

And so, I think I'm just gonna give up on the whole love thing... I know, I know - its kinda early.... But I figure I'll just quit while I'm ahead...

1 comment:

  1. I've been there, done that and I still have a leg in the "give up love" pool. I say go with what works for you. Define love by your own terms.