Lots on my mind; time to get it out...

This is a small piece of myself that I'm now willing to share. Handle with care; contents will break under pressure.

03 August 2010

10. Okay... I'm ready to talk...

It's been a few days and now I'm ready...

So this is how it happened.  It was Thursday night.  I decided to forgo the antics of the previous two weeks and stay in.  I washed my hair.  I was trying to employ the baggy method and just watching tv.  I was also having mixed emotions about boy issues, but I'll save that for another time.  I was almost asleep and at 2 a.m. started getting texts from friends about how much fun they'd had going out as well as a, less than sober, late night visit from the bff who "didn't feel like walking up the stairs" - but I digress.  Anywho, all my friends were home safely and I couldn't sleep, still thinking about "boy stuff."

My head was starting to itch and I decided to remove the plastic cap, but my hair felt funny.  Not soft and fluffy, not like the last time I'd done this.  When I went in the bathroom to look in the mirror, my hair looked dreaded.  It was tangled and it felt dry.  I was not happy.  On top of the fact that I was already thinking too hard I thought to myself, "Something's gotta give."

I looked and random pieces and snipped a few.  I'd done this before; no big deal - or so I thought.  But this time was different.  This time I didn't stop.  It was 4 am and I was doing it.  This was it - the BIG CHOP.  What actually happened was after the first few little random snips, I grabbed this huge section at my crown the length of my fingers, and I cut it. I dropped the hair in the sink and just stared at it in awe.  Limp and lifeless in the sink was my hair.  A big, fat chunk of my hair.  I felt amazing and terrified all at the same time.  Amazing because I was finally doing something I'd talked about for months.  Terrified because my hair hadn't been this short since like 10th grade.  Then I cried.  'Twas brief.  I thought I was going crazy.  I felt like my motives weren't right.  Then again maybe it was the push I needed.  At any rate it was done, nothing else to do at that point.

The one thing I couldn't do just yet though was cut my bangs, I pinned them out of the way.  Partially because I was afraid to eff it up.  Partially because I have always reserved the option to hide behind my hair.

Two hours later and the length of my hair was in the sink and I was back in the shower washing and conditioning.  I told a few friends and was mostly met by congratulations.  My only real reservation was the fact that that evening I'd be going home... and I'd have to face my mother.

My Facebook status simply read: "my mom is so gonna kill me..."

(I decided to cut the bangs last night.)


  1. your hair is too adorable. Welcome to the natural side. Let your soul glow. LOL

  2. Congratulations! I went through the same thing you kind of went through - and on the night of August 4th I cut all my hair off... I was comb twisting it and then figured just cut a few little strands and next thing I know I'm cutting all my hair... and I thought "holy crap my moms gonna kill me" I called her the next day and told her - she was actually happy.... me on the other hand I'm still shocked at it and have been hiding under scarves...I may actually wear my hair out today....

    I saw your blog link on NC in your post "puffs/pony puffs"