Lots on my mind; time to get it out...

This is a small piece of myself that I'm now willing to share. Handle with care; contents will break under pressure.

11 April 2011

45. Thanks Essence... for nothing.

Shout out to Elle for sharing the link to this article from Essence.com.

The article, entitled "Ten Types of Underrated Men and Why You Should Date Them" outlines the types of guys women (specifically black women) generally overlook, and why we should take a second glance.

1. Men Under 5'5
Really Essence?!  I'm 5'9... and I'm definitely gonna call this a no go.  However, I am an advocate of short women not overlooking short men.  If you're 5'5 or below, you shouldn't be searching for a six footer... I have enough competition in this small pool as it is.

2.Introverted Guys
Well besides the fact that I think they used the most suspect stock photo they could find, I don't know if an introverted guy could handle my large personality.  No I don't need a dude that's constantly the life of the party (in fact, that is not at all my preference), however, if you don't like to interact socially, which is something that I do, I don't think our personalities would mesh to well.

3. No Flava Guys
At first when I read this I was like wth?!  But I realize that these are guys that are considered not in the know, and/or are often referred to as corny.  However, I think the author's description which included the guy that "doesn't know why the bottom of your shoes are red" made women (specifically Black women considering that's who the article is geared toward) seem very materialistic, and I for one take some offense to being generalized in such a manor.  As far as being corny - generally when I refer to a guy as corny it is because I feel like he's trying too hard, and is therefore inauthentic.  So, no thanks.

4. Non-Black Guys
Now this I don't disagree with at all.  I don't think you should put yourself in a racial box because you're worried about what other people will think, and I, myself, more than rarely fine non-Black men attractive.  Bring it on!

5. Mama's Boys
*Blank stare.*
The author says the lack of interest in Mama's Boys is due to the fact that his relationship "with his mother is often indicative of the way he will treat his wife."
Yes that is part of it.  But you have to realize that a Mama's Boy is also a man who continuously puts his mother first, and that's not a bad trait - until you enter a relationship.  The problem being his mother's opinion will always prevail and I will always have to compete with her for your affection.  I will constantly have to play second fiddle to the woman who birthed and raised you.  Who can compete with that?  And better, when considering the long term, who wants to? Not I.
Personally, short of his children - the person whom I chose to devote my life to has to be willing to put me first.

6. Long Distance Guys
Well honestly the thought that I'll be able to spend a lot of time with you (the author's reasoning) has no bearing on the reason I would want someone nearer to me.
However, consistency in being able to spend time with you is important.  If I only get to see you once a month for a weekend - I feel as though we'd be likely to get stuck in the honeymoon phase.  Every time we were together it would feel like the first or second date.  This leads to not being able to get a real sense of who someone is.  And sure phone conversations and Skype are cool, but until you are able to consistently be around someone and see how they interact with people on a regular basis, you can never really be sure if they are who you perceive them to be.

7. Unemployed Guys
Uhhh... there are very few circumstances in which it is ok to be unemployed and trying to date me.
One - you're a full time student, and so you are unable to work.
Two - you were recently laid off and are already on your grind in search of employment
There is nothing wrong with a man who is temporarily unemployed.  The problem is a man who seems utterly defeated by a layoff, or simply isn't trying because he's totally okay with living in his parents' basement (see Frank, the Entertainer)

8. Too Young/Too Old
Well I am the age at which 5 years younger than me is a sex crime and that is where I will stay on that.
As far as dating older not really a problem, until you make my age an issue.  All the jokes about me being so young I "still have Similac on my breath," funny once - but no more than that.

9. Man Boob Guys
I will sum this up in saying I don't normally find myself attracted to larger men.  It's happened once before.  It's not that I purposely stay away - I just haven't found too much of anything I like in that department.
However saying "we are an overweight nation of people trying to lose weight" is a big assumption to make - are all large men, or people for that matter, really trying to lose weight...?

10. Cave Man Guys
I must say I prefer a man who bathes regularly.  And if a man has breath that smells like "fertilizer" I can only speculate what other daily aspects of hygiene he conveniently forgets...  It is only smart to "invest" when you can expect a return on said investment.  So how about you come find me after you realize that "flossing isn't exclusively done in a drop top."

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